The only time my sister heard my Father say the N word was on October 3, 1995. It was the day OJ Simpson was acquitted and the first time I heard of this was today, twenty five years later. They were watching the news and she remembers him saying, “That N…. got away with it.” My father was white and had just retired after 40 years of being a minister.

There is so much packed into this one short outburst. Here was a man who spent his life preaching the message of Jesus and telling how he came to earth in human form to save everyone. I would not call Dad a racist but I do not think he understood the reality of racism,  white supremacy and white privilege. It is a bit surprising because when I went through his files after his death I found hundreds of magazine and newspaper clippings on the subjects of race, politics, sex and many other topics. I believe he was searching for understanding, insight and answers. He considered it is job as a minister to know what was going on in the world outside of his church walls.

I’m just putting this out here for anyone to see as I work through this. It is important to understand.